Some of the set-backs I am experiencing are very discouraging, and some of the issues I have been working through are heavy. That's the only word I can think of to describe them. They weigh me down until I deal with them appropriately. They are overwhelming, too much, heart-breaking, freedom-creating, space-making, and healing. They are integral to the process.
Other issues, like a thunderstorm knocking out the power in my bedroom and half the Livingroom, add another aspect to this process which must also be addressed. It was actually quite cathartic -- the issue with the power going out. I had an electrician come in when another storm knocked out even more of the power, including our fridge, and he said it was just a fuse.
Honestly, I tried changing the fuses, but had such a hard time doing it. I would go to the store and just be in a daze. The items I needed were right there, but I was unable to see them. It took some soul-searching, but eventually I realized that there was some kind of block--an invisible barrier--in my mind. I was feeling the way I was trained to feel. In my generation, girls didn't do electrical. In my mind I couldn't do electrical. I had to consciously allow myself to do it...and then I just did it! I overcame that invisible barrier and got the items I needed, and the power has been fine ever since.
So much of what has been happening lately is internal. The healing, realizations, connections, insights, and internal re-organizing are all integral parts of this journey. Some aspects of these internal developments are very private, and others are really big breakthroughs. They are all part of healing, however, and therefore relevant. Especially overcoming those invisible barriers. It is important to personal progress to overcome invisible barriers. I hope by sharing I can help others who are inhibited by invisible barriers placed on them by social constructs to overcome them. They are, after all, not real since they are entirely constructed by society and social norms.
From beyond the invisible barrier,
Faith
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